


We(ed) Come in Peace

by WeedWeasel (blinkfloyd)



Category: The X-Files
Genre: 420, Gen, Weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24434425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkfloyd/pseuds/WeedWeasel
Summary: Mulder and Scully uncover an otherworldly phenomenon.
Kudos: 3





	We(ed) Come in Peace

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago. I just found it in my hard drive and the encoding got all fucked up so it's funnier now than it was originally.

Mulder and Skelly meet a guy  
Heís an alien  
He has a blunt  
A big, big blunt  
A blunt too big for hannibals cunt  
Hannibal blunted it up

So okay mulder and skelly are on a field thing running around (muder running around skully just being there to make sure he doesnt hurt himesle) and mulder sees something in the sky  
ìItís a birdî he says  
ìIím not doing this.î Replies skully.

[weed break]

Mulder run for 3 hours straight to see the light, as it is a ray of light going toward the ground, clearly. After all mulder did clearly state that it was going to the ground. 

ìItís a thin light saysî mulder, ìIs that even a wide enough light for them to fit a person upî

ìWhat- why?î Skully says

Mulder continues. ëLike wouldnt abducting someone through that just be like the augustus scene in charlie in the chocolate factoryî

ìWhat are you even talking aboutî

ìEither that or theyre looking to take a small rodentÖî he trails off, continuing toward the light

But I mean, arenít we all travelling toward the light?  
Btw Iím a philosophy major

Mulder approaches the ray or gratuitous memento mori, and sees a small thin object hovering lower and lower, approaching them

ìMy godî says mulder, ìis that what I think it is?î

He reaches his hand under the light. A blunt gently falls into his hand.

Both mulderís and skullyís jaws drop

ìHoly shitî mulder says.

Above is a small spacecraft, no bigger than a microwave oven.  
ìAyy,î the spacecraft echoes. 

Mulder calls up to the ship, ìIs somebody up ther-î

ìWe are the [insert alien race name]. We have had our sights set on earth for a long while, but based on the looks of it we are guessing you would all be pretty unchill and murder-y if we just showed up. This is an un-manned airdrop to let you all know that we cool.î

A metal appendage reaches down from the sky.

ìPlease bump your fist to this sensor to let us know if we aight to approach earth.î

Completely awestruck, mulder reaches out and fist-bumps the probe.

ìTiiiiiiiiiiightttttî the ship trails on as it retracts the arm.

The ship turns the light off and flies away into the sky.

Mulderís and scullyís jaws are still dropped and they just slowly look at each other.

~

They get back to Mulderís car, put on his 2112 tape, and hotbox the shit out of it. This is the first time skully has ever smoked weed. She believes in aliens now.

The end.


End file.
